HAPPY NEW YEAR

     Ah know this is gonnae sound daft but the operation, that wis the easy bit, ah hud nae control over that but noo there’s so much pressure on me tae live, an' ah don’t want tae let anybody doon. Ah don't mind tellin' ye, ah'm scared stiff. The other weird thing is everybody's bein' so nice tae me, even ma old maw, ah niver thought ah'd see the day when she didnae criticise me aboot somethin' noo she's aw sweetness and light and that terrifies the life ootae me.
     When ah came roond fae the op there wis a picture waitin' fur me fae wee Madonna, she hud drawn a wee lassie wae the sun and a butterfly, she loves butterflies that one. Ah mind when she came home aw greetin' a wee snotter cascadin' doon her lip, she says she hud been chasin' a wee white butterfly but she fell. Her knee wis aw skint so ah goat her a plaster ootae the medicine cabinet, it hud a wee butterfly oan it, ye should huv seen her face light up. She asked me how ah hud managed tae capture it and ah laughed, ah laughed so hard tears ran doon ma face and ah hugged her close.
       Efter a few days ay the family crowdin' roond the bed ah began tae feel like Jesus at the last supper so ah did. Their faces wur so pathetic it wis bringin' me doon so it wis time fur Scarlett Mullen tae take charge. Ah fired them aw doon tae the Tall Ship tae bring in the bells, nae point in them hangin' around wae their faces trippin' them, tae be honest ah needed a rest from the auld brave face routine. Jimmy'll be holdin' court in the pub right noo, he deserves that at least. Sometimes a wonder if ah hud been braver   and let the doctor operate sooner I might have hud a better chance ay gettin' through this, nae point in worryin' noo but ye cannae help thinkin eh?
      Jimmy'll be tellin' rotten jokes in the pub and Bob will be pretendin' they're funny. Theresa will be knockin' back a whisky an' singin' lullabies tae wee Madonna, at least she better be, an' Big Bob, well he'll still be pluckin' up the courage tae kiss that wee lassie Iona. An' me well, ah'd kill fur a good night's sleep, last night was pure murder, those drugs kill the pain aw right but ah end up gettin' nightmares aboot doctors and nurses scurryin' aboot the bed an' machines been wheeled next tae ma bed. The doctor's lookin' doon on me an' shakin' his heid an' ah'm shoutin' "ye cannae, ah've goat Jimmy and Madonna tae look efter , they cannae look efter themselves they need me but ah canne hear masel' shoutin and neither can the doctor , then they put a mask over ma face, a big black horrible rubber mask like a giant rubber octopus and everythin' goes black.
       Then ah wake up sweatin' an' ma hert's poundin' and there's naebody there, just the beepin' noises fae the machines. Oh Please god let tonight be a peaceful one ah say an' then before ah no it ah'm driftin' off again..
      An' then oootae the blue ah hear the voice of an angel, a bald angel that could dae wae a shave mind you but an angel nevertheless. Ah open ma eyes an sure enough it's Jimmy; says he's already been in the pub but his ears have turned a wee bit red so ah know he's no been anywhere near The Tall Ship, an' when ah look up an' see his big daft smilin' coupon ah know whit ah huv tae dae.