Come on cancer!

Ah'm still sore an ah'm no eatin' much but at least ah'm back in ma ain hoose. Nae mair hospital food fur me if ah can help it . Mind you Jimmy thinks he can cook but his Cordon Bleu is mair Cordon burnt. Still Big Bob usually eats anythin' pit doon tae him, mind you he's been a wit bit peely wally since ah goat hame. Ah think he's jist love sick.
       Jimmy comes hame one mornin' wae a new car, well no exactly a new car but if he wants tae pit a coffin in the back it'll dae nicely. It'll no be ma coffin mind you; ah've decided ah'm gonnae beat this thing. By the time ah've finished wae cancer it'll look like Audley Harrison efter three rounds wae that other boy.
      The check up wisnae much fun but. That woman who came intae the out patients wae her dandy red hat gave me a wee smile, then she goes an' takes it aff an' she's baldier than ma Jimmy. Ah couldnae stop thinkin' aboot bald people after that, that wee Gail Porter aff the telly, aye ah no it wisnae cancer but she's been through the mill aw the same. Folk say it grows back really curly the first time. A wonder whit Jimmy would think huvvin' a bald wife.
     By the way Jimmy thinks ah huvnae noticed but they wee cogs are turnin’ in that baldy napper ay his, he’s thinkin’ aboot something, an' efter the visit tae the doctor he knows ah cannae gie him another wee one. He tries tae pretend that it disnae matter but ah know different. A wonder if he's thinkin' aboot fosterin’ maybe. He couldnae stop goin' on aboot Eileen and Raymond an' how it's gi'en them a fresh start. Aye he's definitely broody, well he can jist forget aboot it' cause it's no gonnae happen.
        Big Bob's face wis trippin' him again this mornin',  but he said it wis nuthin' tae worry masel' aboot Ah need tae find oot whit's eatin' him, if it's trouble wae the opposite sex...anyway ah hope that wee Iona is worth it. As long as he disnae dae anythin' daft.