Doctor's orders

Last night Ah hud this dream, ah was lyin' in the dentist's chair and aw ma teeth were fallin' oot, then the chair turns intae wan ay thae operatin' tables an' ah'm lyin' there oan the table wae that big giant light above ma heid and I see a face lookin' doon oan me. Well, ah think it's the big one ye know, God.  Ah'm thinkin' this is it doll ye cannae escape, bye Jimmy, bye Madonna ma wee love, bye Bob and ah'm thinkin' aboot forgivin' Theresa and a voice says 'Scarlett, it's time' and ah'm sayin' jist let me gie Madonna a wee kiss first ' cause that thought aboot forgivin' Theresa went clean ootae ma heid...an then ah'm awake and it's Jimmy Standin' ower the bed wae a cup ay tea and he's sayin' whit are ye babblin' oan aboot wummin?  an' ah say whit? Ah wisnae babblin' aboot anythin' and he jist shakes his heid, ye know that way he dis when he knows mair than he's lettin' oan but he disnae push it, no until ah'm ready anyway. Ah kin tell he's gettin' fed up though.

       It's funny though, noo ah know for sure, ah feel better. That Dr Brodie, he wis practically stalkin' me , a right text pest he turned oot tae be. Ah'm sitting oan that bench an' he's babblin' oan, jist like the dream, bletherin' away aboot operations an' ah'm no listenin' ah'll make up ma ain mind when things happen. There's nothin' gonnae get in the way ay me Jimmy an' Madonna huvvin' the best Christmas ever.

      Let's face it, it could be worse, that carry oan in the pub wae Gina and Hayley and Jack, whit a mess, 'magine that lot throwin' away everythin' fur a quickie in the radio station. Ah should huv bailed oot Gina but ah couldnae, ah wid huv tae huv told Jimmy everythin'. Anyway they've made their bed, they better jist get oan wae it noo.

      Poor wee Maddie, she had a touch ay the dry boak , stage fright Murray calls it , no as much ay a fright as he goat in the pub eh?  Still she went oan that stage and made us proud, thank god Jimmy thinks ah wis crying wae joy, well ah wis in a way, ma beautiful wee Madonna. Ah cannae wait tae see her wee cheery face oan Christmas mornin' openin' up aw her presents. Ah jist cannae. Efter that they can dae whit they like wae me.